A lot of women, when asked what they're looking for in a male partner say they really desire someone who is funny. Obviously, it's generally more enjoyable to be around a funny person than a boring one, but could it also be that funnyness/humor, being an important trait in parenting, is being selected for that reason? Very fascinating.
It also takes a fairly smart person to be genuinely funny, I think. The easiest types of humor to emulate are crude humor, sarcastic humor, and physical humor/comedy. But to be genuinely funny in a way that isn't overtly insulting to anyone takes some smarts, so maybe that's part of it too.
I have three daughters, the youngest of which I perceive thus far to be the smartest (they are all really smart) but what was interesting was that she was doing physical comedy far before she could speak or walk.
Basically making initiating funny body movements seeking us to mirror her and to do coy little hide and seek games.
Not only is it terribly cute, seeing her think up funny games like this to play and watching how she giggles and laughs is really interesting to see how it expresses her personality when she can't even formulate words yet.
That's probably closer to the truth. My 9 year old nephew was more mature than his sibling and cousin because his interaction was almost entirely with adults, but his 2 year old brother is WAY ahead verbally at the same age because he interacts with his older brother ALL the time.
> it's generally more enjoyable to be around a funny person than a boring one
Being consistently funny requires some amount of intelligence, creativity, and self-confidence. All of those things are good qualities in a husband and father. It's possible that humor adds more above and beyond those qualities, but I'm skeptical that a study could separate the effects of those other qualities.
>Being consistently funny requires some amount of intelligence, creativity, and self-confidence.
Considering most "funny people" engage in low effort puns or just ape what they hear on TV or the internet, I'm not so sure of that. I guess the potential mother's taste in humor is important here.
No but everyone's "funny friend" is. I find humor to actually be a rare talent. Maybe very rare. How many Jon Stewarts are out there per million people?
I wonder if the copying a lot of young men do (endlessly quoting movies and such) is some kind of evolutionary trick to come off as funny or smart, like a bird fluffing its feathers to come off as a larger and stronger potential mate.
Yeah, that's pretty reductionist, but it really makes you wonder why this behavior is so common. Past "mating age" its insufferable if someone does it.
It's always insufferable to hear "memes" (repetitive jokes/puns/quotes) on both the internet and real life. It isn't tied to gender, so it really isn't some evolutionary trick (except maybe the evolution of globalist culture).
If you get off the internet, you'll find people are capable of being funny without quoting Dave Chappelle. I seriously doubt any potential mothers out there are looking for a Quote Machine. I'll probably get crucified for this, but the fact that you reference Jon Stewart as a rare type of funny sort of betrays the point you're making. He's very much part of the "sick references" club.
I think a humorous person that may potentially make a good father and the meme-spouting quote crowd are really two different things. They're just looking for someone that can be goofy from time to time, you're making this out to be a search for Richard Pryor.
People have been quoting others/impersonating others/copying others to raise their social capital since the dawn of language. This has nothing to do with internet jokes. That's just the form you're most comfortable with criticizing considering your age.
>Jon Stewart as a rare type of funny sort of betrays the point you're making. He's very much part of the "sick references" club.
When I was a kid he was more of a standard stand-up and not at all political. I use him because he's universally acknowledged as funny.
Women aren't looking for comedians. They're looking for men who can still smile when everything around them is turning to shit. So if you can crack a joke when the waiter brings you raw chicken, rather than screaming your head off and threatening to sue, that's the kind of funny a woman wants.
I think temperament and humor are two different things. When someone says, "I like people who make me laugh" they aren't really talking about not losing their shit when the waiter brings the wrong thing. They literally mean laughing.
Considering so many entertainers are horrible primadonnas and massivly self-entitled, I doubt being good at humor has anyting to do with temperament, compassion, empathy, etc.
Most entertainers read a script, they're not spontaneously funny.
> When someone says, "I like people who make me laugh"
When people say that, they're not talking about a professional comedian or even a class clown. They like people who are happy and relaxed. When someone is happy and relaxed, they're having a good time and they play around, make jokes, and generally allow other people around them to also have a good time.
It's not about having a good temperament, although that's probably a prerequisite. It's about being genuinely happy.
I dare you to come up with a better test of figuring out if a person is happy or not.
There's a difference between socially blind fueled arrogance and legitimate confidence. Considering many women complain about arrogant men and geek/bro culture, well, I don't think quoting Monty Python endlessly projects an air of confidence. In fact, it probably does the opposite.
I doubt you have to dig that far down to find a reason. Just think of the kind of person that gets described as "humorless". Then imagine marrying one of them. Women aren't thinking about their hypothetical future children; they're thinking about not hating their own lives in six months.
You shouldn't take what people say in dating too literally, both guys and girls, but especially girls. I'm no expert, but there can be all sorts of reason why any specific girl say that.
- she means it as someone who don't take life too seriously
- saying she is looking for someone handsome/rich sounds too shallow
- she means some particular types of funny, probably not including the clown type
- she means someone who can talk to her on the same level
- she wants that because that's what all other girls claim to want
That's not it. Being "funny" is actually a great screening test for being "happy". Try to be genuinely funny when you're miserable. You can't. Not let's crack a joke you read on the internet funny, but say something that's actually funny and in good humor when something isn't going right. That's genuine humor and that's what women are looking for. It's impossible to do it when you're miserable. Women are just screening for happy, successful men.
Anecdata and all, but I've dealt with depression since my teenage years, yet I was a successful improv actor in high school and often have friends telling me they think I'm funny. And in fact many comedians avow to dealing with depression in some way.
So I'm not too sure about the validity of your rationalization.
I think this comment is unfair and kind of disrespectful. GuiA is saying that he has evidence that people found him funny, but he didn't feel happy. You're off on some tangent about acting that seems to suggest that acting funny isn't the same as being funny? Different gradients of humor? I have no idea.
The point is, GuiA presents a valid counterpoint. No reason to go hostile on the counterpoint. Listen to Marc Maron's WTF podcast. It's a generally safe stereotype to say that many if not most comedians struggle with depression.
I don't know if that's true. Comedians are notoriously unhappy and it's fairly well known that suffering can lead to comedy and the class clown is hiding their inner pain. cf: Catch-22, interviews with comedians.
You and a few others made the same comment. Comedians are professionals who read a prepared script. All of them.
I was talking about genuine, spontaneous humor. Not in a setting where you're acting and where others know you're acting. Not when there's an audience. Spontaneously funny about bad things happening in real-time, in real-life, in a personal setting.
Even really good unhappy comedians would have a hard time with that one.
I think you'll find that's not exactly true. Many comedians are excellent at improv, that also makes them really good at keeping up the act in front of everyone around them.
"And Here's the Kicker" by Mike Sacks is a collection of interviews of top comics, from standup to sitcom writing. There was definitely a lot of misery in there. There's the Simpsons writer who graduated from Harvard and still pined over girls who ignored him in high school. Or the creator of the Onion who flat out said, "I'm miserable!" and talked about how humor is connected to pain. In fact Sacks noted to one comedian how unusual it seemed that he didn't have any baggage, and that guy mentioned getting lunch with other comedians is terrible because it's like they all have Asperger syndrome.
So, to put it in broader terms, they're looking for resilience?
Conversely, I think a lot of men are looking for the same thing too, we all know that not every day is "butterflies and rainbows," so its nice to have that person who is even-keeled in spite of the pressures of work, the screaming babies, etc.
