They aren't mutually exclusive: being nice or not is a tool in your toolbox for all interactions.

You can be nice all the time, but that doesn't mean you'll be effective all the time.

It's crazy to me that we engineers are so focused on hacking systems but seem to denigrate hacking personal interactions as if it's something dirty blah blah[0].

[0] copied from my other comment.

I noticed that being nice and pretty good all the time brings you nowhere vs anyone being meh and pretty bad all the time.

I think that's the whole point too, there's a lot of details but in the end - if you're nicer than the other guy, he'll exploit that.

In yet another set of words - which while funny is actually exactly the same concept:

batman: i'll always beat superman, he has a strong weakness.

people: kryptonite?

batman: no, he's a nice guy, i'm not.

But I bet you wouldn't like someone who tries to suck up to you, either. So maybe the idea is to make a good impression on others, and that might need more than simply being nice, even if you don't want to be successful.

+1

I reckon that it's more than 'being an asshole' It's about being yourself. If you are an asshole then be one. If you're a nice guy, be one.

It is this that concerns me, people are not "nice guy" or "asshole" by nature. Its a behavior that can be acquired and changed.

Successful at what? Niceness? Collecting gold?