I live in Canada and the cheapest, fastest way to transfer fiat is to email a picture of a filled-out cheque. It's pathetic.

Almost every bank in Canada has access to interac transfers which are like $3 and complete in 30 minutes to an hour.

Yes, but hilariously that's both slower and more expensive than the picture of a cheque method.

I've never tried mailing a cheque but do they not have hold times on not certified cheques for most accounts?

Yes, but I'm able to access any funds on hold up to my overdraft limit immediately without paying interest so practically it's instant.