I'm not familiar with Bay Ridge - but you can live in Queens, New Jersey, better parts of the Bronx, even Staten Island and Long Island and have shorter commutes than that for similar rents in safe neighborhoods. Yes, it's not the glamorous Manhattan life that people think of coming home to - but public transportation in New York is the best in the country and you're free to stay out as late as you want...
I haven't been to Tokyo. But I have been to most of the largest cities of North America and Europe. The NYC subway system is extremely inexpensive ($2.50 for as long a ride as you need - as many transfers as you want), has incredibly wide coverage, and is quite reliable. It is one of the largest subway systems in the world. It is old and somewhat dirty if that's what you're referring to? I don't think it's sad.
In addition there are commuter trains that cover most of Long Island, Westchester county, Southwest Connecticut, and North New Jersey that connect to stations serviced by the subway and many run hourly or half hourly. NY buses aren't the best - but no system is perfect.
Last time I was in Tokyo the subway stopped running very early (either midnight or 1 AM) compared to NYC where it never stops.
That has obvious benefits such as helping maintain cleanliness, but I still wouldn't eat a meal without washing my hands after riding on the Tokyo subway.
Have you been to Tokyo? The subway consists of several disjoint systems that don't connect in reasonable ways, each with its own incomprehensibly different payment system, and it stops running at around midnight. New York beats it by a mile.
