What if the mistake was riding a bicycle? You don't seem to be coming at this from the perspective of someone who is really thinking about safety.
Sorry to be callous about it. You're understandably angry. It's one thing to say you accept the risks of a risky behavior, and yet another to declare nothing could have been done.
It’s absolutely sick that we think of cycling as being dangerous and risk seeking behaviour.
I’m coming from a part of the world that doesn’t needlessly look down on cycling (its common for nearly everyone to cycle in Copenhagen/Malmö) and the idea that people should become drivers because its safer is a total tragedy of the commons and would not hold much weight here - the cities would be crushed under the necessary weight of roads and cars.
Other parts of the world need to get some more cars off the road by making safer infrastructure, it’s ridiculous.
There's no judgement. It is dangerous, as the grandparent's story illustrates, regardless of what anyone thinks about it. If your kid's life is on the line, and you absolutely have to get the answer right, and you cannot unilaterally effect public policy, what do you need to do?
Sorry to be callous about it. You're understandably angry. It's one thing to say you accept the risks of a risky behavior, and yet another to declare nothing could have been done.