I see some high level similarities with my life, but I can't give real advice, just a thought, that you should take with a handful of salt (like anything else on the internet): break up your problems, and concentrate on 1 of them at a time (with full force), until it is solved. If you try to get rid of all your issues at one time, that will just leave all of them at place.
One thing that hits a bit too close to home is "unable to focus" - this is a killer. I don't know how impactful this is on you, but I had this, and it was destroying me. I couldn't focus on anything for longer than 10 minutes, and it took me a huge effort forcing myself to sit down, and code for 2+ hours without major disractions.
yes..this is huge.. why I'm wanting to start a business or something that's ... got lots of things to do to run it so I don't get so unable to focus.
I'm on vyvanse and wellbutrin and caffeine but still hard to focus. I'm trying to get back into a routine...and keep structure.
I lost 125 pounds since March 2023 ... i'm assuming from Major Depression I'm just not hungry and during the last year of marriage we didn't eat much as a famiy so I lived off Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwiches and basically ate 1-2 per day and nothing else... (I wasn't really hungry anyways)...
Recently, I took up volleyball cause I noticed my knees could actually take stairs without hurting or needing to go up like a 'gimp' with a swagger or side shuffle thing... So I'm like 390lbs playing volleyball and it's a lot of fun, great people, though I'm out of commission now cause my car broke down... but it was fun.
One thing that hits a bit too close to home is "unable to focus" - this is a killer. I don't know how impactful this is on you, but I had this, and it was destroying me. I couldn't focus on anything for longer than 10 minutes, and it took me a huge effort forcing myself to sit down, and code for 2+ hours without major disractions.