This has been said many times, but it is worth repeating from time to time.
It's analogous to “Have systems, not goals” or “Build habits, not goals” and I'm sure you can think of many such variations on the words, but at the end they all mean the same.
Don't choose a point on the line that is your life, choose a vector.
Just don't fall into the trap that this means you shouldn't have goals. I would phrase it as: The way is more important than the destinations, but destinations are also worth having if you want to continue on the way.
I dislike the term, but something like goals are useful to have and I enjoy them. But to me, they are more like visions of how I would want things to be. While clearly defined goals can be helpful when dealing with other people who frequently move goalposts, for my personal “goals” I find that those narrowly defined milestones are not helpful for motivation, nor a particularly good proxy for what’s really important.
Weirdly, I’ve been way, way more consistent with my somewhat loose “vision” than I ever saw in corporate life, where goals would change frequently depending on popular buzzwords, reorgs, new grand poobah hires, etc. That’s made me think of goals more as a coping mechanism for a jittery “inner compass” or lack of direction. But of course, all of these terms have different connotations for different people.
Thst is why I used metaphorical language here. Goals sound very well defined like something from a business plan. And granted, sometimes it is nice to have well defined goals, e.g. when you are in a group or some other situation where having a bit more objectively formulated expectations help.
Life coaches would tell you you should not only formulate goals, but also say within which time you want to get there.
As you I found this can kill all joy. A vague vision is sometimes better as it can be adjusted to life circumstances. E.g. if you're a musician of course your vision is to make good music of a certain style, but as you are one part of a band within a uncertain environment anything more precise than a vague "move the band forward" would need to be overhauled every other month.
When I first meet with an athlete, I ask them what their goal is. I just need to know the general direction and magnitude. Are they trying to get a little stronger over the summer, or are they trying to make the Olympics. Then we put the goal on a shelf and never discuss it again unless it changes. Then it’s 100% mindset, process, repeat.
He describes it as a pyramid, with character/mindset at the bottom, where you’re trying to become the kind of person that can follow a process. Next is the process, the ability to follow basic instructions consistently (which is surprisingly hard for humans). Process builds the next layer, skills. And multiple skills get combined to form your strategy.
And the key point was, everyone nerds out about the skill and strategy layer. But all progress happens in the mindset and process layer.
It's analogous to “Have systems, not goals” or “Build habits, not goals” and I'm sure you can think of many such variations on the words, but at the end they all mean the same.
Don't choose a point on the line that is your life, choose a vector.