Boys (and girls) follow pro-social behavior for boys (and girls). Pro-social behavior is defined by the cultural and social context. That is, the society defines (and can change) what it "means to be a boy", etc.
When and where I grew up, it was pro-social for boys to abuse others, especially other boys, often of lower social class. I'm glad my kids don't have to have that experience.
Boys (and girls) follow pro-social behavior for boys (and girls)
It seems to me that US culture, especially politically, drives 0 or 1 thought, and those into computers seem to end up there often too.
But it often isn't "one or the other". Outside of individual differences, men and women are different. And, also affected by culture.
It's both you see, both genetics and culture which affects how one acts, behaves.
Take a non-sexual trait, stubbornness. People are born stubborn, others are born with no backbone at all. Obviously, we have a societal norm, an expected degree of backbone / stubbornbess which is an ideal.
If your child is born too stubborn, you will coach them to be less so. And if with no backbone, you will attempt to foster assertiveness, etc. You will try to get your child to be able to navigate society as best as you can.
And this is why there is no fixed way to raise a child. Each child is a unique blend of genes, and thus needs a unique approach. It is also why, in many cases, "not doing what my parents did!", doesn't often jive. The very thing you didn't need, may be what your child does need!
I guess my point is, yes there are genetic differences between men and women. These differences show up in every part of the body, including the brain. And yet, on top of that each child is unique, and needs a tailored upbringing, which is really how you raise a child to fit into current culture.
Of course, our children and great grandkids will think we're dumbasses, will lament the "dumb things" we did, and how we raised them. Just as we do somewhat of our ancestors, and they too back to the dawn of our sentience.
I don't disagree with you. Behavior is complex. But, keep in mind that pro-social behavior is genetic behavior. Humans are Apes, but we're a special kind of Ape that has a large PFC that evolved partly to attune us to complex social coordination. Except when we're under stress, have cognitive load, in adverse environments, have developmental disorders, Human's tend toward pro-social behavior, overriding Ape-like behavior. (Also, it's interesting to note that some research suggests that parenting has a low (10-20%) influence on a child's behavior.)
Also, yes, there are general genetic differences between males and females, but we've also determined pretty clearly at this point that there's enough variance at the individual level where generalizations don't work. For instance, I have a niece who was born much larger, stronger, and more aggressive than the other kids. She was always interested in "boy stuff". She even looked more boy-like. It's not helpful when people tell us "boys should be boys. girls should be girls".
Sure, they make their own choices. But if all they (son and daughter) consume are submissive Disney princesses I get … frustrated? I want my daughter to have strong role models. Like Scully.
What are boys and girls anyway? It’s all made up cultural constructs. If anything I want them to be aware of that and know they can choose their own unique path to happiness, while recognizing that right for others as well of course.
"It's all made up cultural constructs" - THIS EXACTLY! Thank you.
It seems to me, that our cultural constructs of gender, long disembodied from the survival necessity that bore them, have been defined in ways that no longer match the way we live.
Perhaps our physical selves and public identity don't need to change at all.
Maybe, instead of all that, we should just redefine the words so that gender is as inclusive an idea as their are aspects of it.
Just like how James Kirk from ST:TOS has been turned in general perception into this weird womanizer who slept with every green skinned alien babe [1], so is all the "supplementary" cultural material erasing important bits like that, especially when such bits are less "in your face" than (keeping to Disney) Merida from Brave.
[1] the actual horndog of the main crew was McCoy, and Picard was rabble-rouser and notorious flirt in his youth, enough that his replacement heart happened due to bar fight
