Mentioning my mother in this context is as counter-productive as possible. In fact, if it were not for my mother, I would give women a bit more slack.

Whatever your mother did or didn't do to you, she gave birth to you. That is already something big.

Would you rather her have not done this for you?

Destroying is easy, creating is hard.

(and raising a child in this world is as well)

"if it were not for my mother, I would give women a bit more slack."

And whatever happened, you are saying clearly, that because of one women, you see all women less. Maybe that's not fair?

That is part of the problem. That some people believe that getting laid and following through with the consequences is actually an acomplishment. It is not, it is how nature works. Once that is done, the work actually starts, and it starts to become relevant what sort of human you are. How much you know, frankly, how intelligent you are.

Besides, since you seem to love to trigger me with just the "right" sentences:

   Would you rather her have not done this for you?

Yes, now that you ask, I would have prefered if she didn't do that. Why that is is a bit too complicated to pack into a single reply. Just dont assume that your way of seeing things works for others.

Do you think, giving birth is easier, than just taking a pill?

For men it is easy to "make babies". For women it isn't. They usually sacrifice at least a year for it. You aren't really productive, if your brain is a hormon slurry and everything hurts. And most women do get lasting injuries from the birth, taking years to recover. (have you ever sacrifized a year for someone else?)

So it seems, she tried at least. And then maybe discovered that she does not have anything more for you. Or not much.

That is shitty and not fair. No doubt and sorry to hear that.

But that is also how nature works. There is no fairness baked in anywhere. In the end life is a gift.

You can take it, or don't.

But if you continiue to choose life, you maybe would be better off, if one day you can let go of your anger over your childhood trauma of abandonment.

Sometimes things can work out with the old family. Sometimes not, but the world is full of people looking for a real family.

But a family can only work, if the partners respect and trust each other. And sorry if I am crossing a line again (I was aware with my question before, what your answer likely would be), but I think you would have a major struggle with that, with the fear of being abandoned again, this time by your partner. Which can easily lead to jealousy, pressure, all the usual stuff, breaking up and a new generation of half or full abandoned children.

And you might have sworn to yourself, that you would never abandon your children - but when you are done, you are done. I never thought I could get there, but I was close to that point with my children. Kids and everything around it, is undescribable intense, unless everything was set up perfectly before. And I am not aware of many such cases.

Your mother was a human. Faulty, with limited energy, understanding and naivity. Likely experienced her childhood traumatas.

She tried and failed - partly. Because you are alive and can choose now, what you do in this imperfect world of ours.

And going back to the original point, maybe, only maybe, if your mother as a child would have heard more often "girls can do it", instead of "you are just a girl", she would have been able to do it the whole way through.

I'm sorry to hear that. Apologies.