I also thought that the results were this poor maybe not because the companies were so bad at communicating with potential hires but because OPs' resumes weren't as interesting as he made them out to be.
I can imagine that things like "Telecommuter?: Pretty please" and - as you mentioned - "Ability to relocate: Open to idea, can't right away" might've turned off a couple of the companies OP contacted.
What I would've liked to have seen was a more generally formulated and well-engineered resume that would've appealed to all but the most incompetent of HR decision makers, or even better, to A/B split test the email copy.
As such I don't think the post was as meaningful as made out to be.
I can imagine that things like "Telecommuter?: Pretty please" and - as you mentioned - "Ability to relocate: Open to idea, can't right away" might've turned off a couple of the companies OP contacted.
What I would've liked to have seen was a more generally formulated and well-engineered resume that would've appealed to all but the most incompetent of HR decision makers, or even better, to A/B split test the email copy.
As such I don't think the post was as meaningful as made out to be.