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OP is unintentionally superficial, but he's grasping at a greater understanding and he knows. I think this is what he is looking for:

Why is this idea true?

Do I really believe it?

Could I convince someone else that it is true?

Why didn't the author use a different argument?

Do I have a better argument or method of explaining the idea?

Why didn't the author explain it the way that I understand it?

Is my way wrong?

Do I really get the idea?

Am I missing some subtlety?

Did this author miss a subtlety?

If I can't understand the point, perhaps I can understand a similar but simpler idea?

Which simpler idea?

Is it really necessary to understand this idea?

Can I accept this point without understanding the details of why it is true?

Will my understanding of the whole story suffer from not understanding why the point is true?

-- How To Read Mathematics, authors Shai Simonson and Fernando Gouvea [1]

[1]http://web.stonehill.edu/compsci/History_Math/math-read.htm#



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