People also talk about buying stocks but you also can't control the direction of a company as a minority shareholder. People also buy non-physical things like music or software, and things that exist only for a moment in time, like experiences.
It would seem that most people's definition of "buying" works for HOA-controlled properties. What's your definition?
Software, music, stocks are things that you can do with what you please, but not if it's on a subscription basis. My definition of ownership really comes down to the inability for others to take away my control over it. In a sense, a mortgaged property is an acceptable risk in that the bank has limited financial control over your house as debt, but anything beyond that and nobody should really be able to tell me to not paint my house blue.
Just buy a house outside of an HOA or city historical restrictions. You'll have to shop around, and you wont get exactly what you want, but that is life.
I'm not in the market for a house at all, that's just my definition of ownership. I clearly wouldn't buy in an HOA or a historically restricted property.
It would seem that most people's definition of "buying" works for HOA-controlled properties. What's your definition?