I never used Absinthe, but if you're initializing an ORM in your resolver, loading the entire record into memory is unavoidable. How does Absinthe get around that? (Sounds like it generates the SQL?)
Absinthe does some dumb things by default too.
You need to manually optimize your resolvers.
One annoying thing Absinthe did by default I noticed was fetching entire object from DB, even though the GraphQL query only returns it's ID. For example query below would fetch each person from a DB, even though we already had a list of person IDs on the friends level:
