You said “but for the many other upper middle class people like me most likely the $220 is gone to sit in a bank or spent frivolously.”
That is not a correct statement. I think it’s much more likely to be spent on whatever that person deems valuable. Perhaps you think it’s frivolous, but that doesn’t make it frivolous. You don’t know the size of their family or the circumstances requiring expense.
If the default is not to help others, then most will not. That's the way the world works. That's why taxes work.
This is not an argument about morality or judging others.