I've had approximately the same experience. Here's hoping it doesn't cause any long term issues, but I think I would have had a heart attack by now if I didn't smoke to calm myself down and realize I shouldn't take things so seriously.
A truly enlightened individual doesn't need any drugs, but I'm not there yet. Maybe in time. For now I think the weed is a net positive.
I hate when people frame doing drugs in terms of needing them to have a good time. It's just a thing you do that affects your mind, like anything else. It's potentially more intense and definitely different than most other things, but acting like it's a crutch is existentially dishonest I think.
I'm not 100% sure I understand your comment, but I don't think it's dishonest to frame drug use as a crutch.
One of the odd things about drugs is that if you do use them as a crutch (and I certainly do), then you are forfeiting recreational value.
I smoke to feel "normal" and to avoid nightmares (it turns off dreaming, which is quite useful). That means I can't get "high" like non-potheads can. When I haven't smoked in a while, I get giggly and have the munchies and every idea is mindblowing, and that's truthfully quite a lot of fun and is the reason most people start smoking weed.
Unfortunately, if I don't smoke after work, I can't really feel like my work day is over, and I'll keep thinking about work until I exhaust myself. If I don't smoke before bed, there's a good chance I'll have horrible nightmares and wake up in a cold sweat. These aren't symptoms of withdrawal that go away in time, that's just how I lived my life before discovering weed, and that's how I feel daily even if I take a months-long break from smoking.
I would love to not need weed as a crutch, both to be healthier and so I can occasionally get a giggly-munchies-omg-this-music-sounds-amazing type of high.
The problem is, if I quit smoking, I feel less mentally healthy, and all of the psychiatric drugs that could possibly help are worse in health and effect than weed.
When people call it a crutch, it's so disparaging and judgmental. I think if it makes your life better (like it clearly makes yours!), why associate guilt with the benefit?
Maybe in a vacuum, "crutch" _is_ a good term. Literal crutches help people after all! But there is definite stigma attached with the mindset.
Yep, agreed on that. Over time I have smoked less and less. Like i said I don't think I'll ever 'quit' but I imagine the time in between seshes will grow longer. All in all cannabis has been very net positive for me
A truly enlightened individual doesn't need any drugs, but I'm not there yet. Maybe in time. For now I think the weed is a net positive.