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Ah, age laws. I remember when the USA brought in COPPA, I worked on the Google account system at the time. What a mess. Turns out lots of people register Gmail accounts for local businesses that aren't big or sophisticated enough to use their own top level domain and hosted email solution - they just grab a free webmail address and paint it on the side of their plumbing van or whatever.

Oh, and when asked for a date of birth, they don't know what to put because it's a company account and not a person.

So they put the founding date of their company.

Which is often less than 13 years old. So now the account is locked because they need "parental consent". Or maybe they're trying to create an account, in which case they need to be locked out from creating an account because they "lied" about their age. But they aren't logged in, so how do you do that?

The already existing account doesn't have a parent of course. And it's owner is already an adult. No problem, you think, the owner will just have to prove they're an adult and it's OK.

But COPPA specifies precisely how you can check if someone is an adult, and it was written by a bunch of US regulators who don't appear to know much about life outside the USA. For instance one acceptable age verification mechanism is a credit card, but lots of people around the world don't have credit cards. Everyone having 5 cards is a US thing. So that doesn't work. You could also do a video conference with them, but good luck hiring enough people to do that at anything like a workable cost (per user margins are ultra thin). And so on. Pretty quickly you realise there's no way to recover that is both cheap enough to be deployed, and globally usable. That ignores the fact that some techniques hurt privacy far far more than any website ever normally would e.g. demanding and verifying government ID.

So people just lose their business email.

I've never seen a government pass data related regulation that wasn't a complete disaster. All such laws I'm aware of are riddled with contradictions, collateral damage and total absence of evidence that it actually helped anyone, anywhere.



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