I don't think the two are incompatible in the slightest. It could well be that expressing your anger violently 1) makes you feel calmer in the moment, and 2) trains you to be more likely to need to do so in the future.
If that's the case, then "harmless" violent expression is a useful tool when others fail (as you've experienced - and certainly much preferable to directly harmful violent expression!), but other techniques should be learned and should be preferred out of habit.
That said, it's absolutely the case that "Not everyone is the same".
If that's the case, then "harmless" violent expression is a useful tool when others fail (as you've experienced - and certainly much preferable to directly harmful violent expression!), but other techniques should be learned and should be preferred out of habit.
That said, it's absolutely the case that "Not everyone is the same".