This coheres with my dating experiences as well. The medium may have changed, but we're all still people, with mostly the same spectrum of motivations we've always had.
My issue with dating apps is that they're too efficient. Our attractiveness fluctuates dramatically based on context. If we're doing something we love, doing something interesting, or exhibiting a particular behavior or trait, we can be far more attractive than any five curated photos will show. And vice versa.
Dating apps remove all contextual variety and flatten us out. And in that case, "efficiency" is actually inefficient.
> The "flow" that imaginative people love so much has a darker cousin that prevents you from pausing to savor life...
I'm glad he pointed out this seemingly small detail. This took me a very long time to understand.
EDIT: It reminds me of another great post by Paul Buccheit. It's so important to have the 'heroes' of startup culture explicitly spell out these values:
> I worry that perhaps I'm communicating the wrong priorities. Investing money, creating new products, and all the other things we do are wonderful games and can be a lot of fun, but it's important to remember that it's all just a game. What's most important is that we are good too each other, and ourselves. If we "win", but have failed to do that, then we have lost. Winning is nothing.
I understand why you might arrive at that conclusion, but think about another level: What did Jessica Livingston lose or miss out on by not promoting herself to the public?
I would argue that she missed out on nothing that matters.
I think that's the calculus that she figured on when she made the decision not to be a public figure.
I suspect that the recent articles playing up her role are because she & YC realized that there is something they're missing out on: millions of potential female founders are not starting companies because they don't have strong role models. This hurts YC in a financial sense, but even beyond that: if your mission is to increase the amount of startups and innovation in the world, then having half the world's population disqualify themselves because they don't have many good examples of it being done before is losing out.
> In fact, the real moral of the story is that the tech press is almost entirely bullshit, and that is mostly to be avoided.
Any interaction I've had with the tech press from the "written about" side of things (or reading about close friends) has given me less and less faith in what I read about those I don't know.
I'd venture that's valid for any interaction with journalism these days. You read a story and if you are part of the story you realize how wrong and/or skewed the whole thing really is. Then you start to question how many other stories or articles are the same. Eventually you realize you can only take them with a grain of salt.
I was close to deleting my Facebook account when I discovered the News Feed Eradicator[1]. This way I can still use messages, groups, events, etc. without having to experience the dreaded news feed. It really improved my quality of life.
Another major step I took was to stop posting. That way I had no expectations of feedback and logged in far less in general.
I just started using this, and it's wonderful. I previously was using Stayfocusd to limit Facebook time to 5 minutes per day, which I depleted quickly. Sometimes I got cut off in the middle of writing a reply to someone, or even doing something for work. Now I don't have to restrict myself anymore, since there's nothing to mindlessly scroll through.
Reading the feed was like playing slots. It pays out just enough to keep you playing, but on net you're still losing. "Maybe that next post will be interesting! Oh, nope, just another story about Donald Trump. On to the next post..." Never again.
Thanks for introducing me to this extension. I've been using my hand to cover news feeds on fb, twitter, etc when I need to go in and respond to a message or something. Although it's easy for me to do that as social news feeds don't hog my attention as much as they induce anxiety.
The comments here are really thought provoking. I feel like I'm missing something - is there some kind of unmentioned catch, like don't get sick, or you have to have really good workers/health/disability insurance - to make this work safely long term?
I love the contrarian thinking but want to make sure I'm accounting for legitimate cases my young mind might not conceive of. Or am I overthinking it?
Speaking from experience, the catch is you won't get to live the life of convenience and luxury that marketing has been pushing down your throat for the last 20+ years.
When you work less, you have less money, which means you spend less money, which means you often do things for yourself. Oil changes can be dirty, chopping wood can be hard work, and canning vegetables is a loooong process.
If you are afraid of hard work and want life to be "easy", by all means keep going to work and simply pay for everything. On the other hand, hard work is extremely rewarding, especially when it's for your own survival.
It's a choice, you're free to make it either way you want. I wish more people knew it was a choice they can make.
That part I'm sold on. I'm wondering about, as another comment mentioned, what happens if you discover one day you're not self sufficient, even temporarily (significant illness, chronic illness, major injury - or something I'm not considering). If I don't want to be a burden on anyone on the grid, but don't want to depend on social services, how do I factor that in?
I assume you're American, because you're worried about health/insurance.
I've never lived like that, so excuse me if what I say makes no sense.
Can you not find an insurance policy that's affordable even when working part time? i.e. consider health insurance like other expenses that are very hard to entirely remove (some food, gas, car insurance, building materials, etc.).. i.e. most people wind up working something like 20-50% time to pay for those things, maybe after you add in health care you'll need to work 30-60% time?
Definitely possible. And you guessed it - American.
Is health insurance the only thing to worry about? Any other reasons to save up a lot of money, or something to insure for?
For example, if a medical issue arises, insurance covers treatment, but if it's now difficult to sustain myself, am I now dependent on unemployment/social services (or savings)?
I lead a minimalist/nomadic lifestyle now, and always wondering if at some point the music has to stop and I have to integrate into the system as I get older (any kids, family aside).
>Is health insurance the only thing to worry about?
Stop thinking up a list of things to worry about, and start doing what you want to be doing.
Nothing in life is permanent, so make a leap, try and out and see what you think. Maybe you'll do it for a few years, then go back to doing something else. You'll never know unless you try, so hurry up and go for it.
