>If this was the case at all, a great treatment for low self esteem would be to commit to stuff for others, since that'd automatically make you valuate your own self more
How do you know this is not true?
If your sense of obligation is seen as a value function for people, it follows that your self-worth is the value when you plug-in "self". Helping others and volunteering is indeed something that brings satisfaction and could help heal your sense of self-worth. If you value another person higher than yourself, by helping them you would establish a connection between their worth and your own. You potentially went from lacking any evidence of positive self-worth to having concrete first-hand evidence that you are worth something to someone.
I can see that. And your counterexample is also pretty apt.
I guess universally it may not be true, but I suspect for some it very well could be. Just depends on the value function you ascribe to (knowingly or unknowingly).
It should also be said that this topic is more complex than these simple models. I've heard it described that Narcissists essentially refute the evidence rather than allow it to poke a hole in their bubble of self-worth; All of that to say, there are many moving pieces beyond just how you value things that add up to your self-worth.
I've been looking for this comment in all these stories regarding the ineffectiveness of phenylephrine!
I have a similar story. Congestion is not a symptom I typically get. Covid, however, decided to shake things up and introduce me to a new set of symptoms... One of those was congestion such that my head felt like a balloon. Without experience treating this symptom, I went out and ended up with Sudafed PE, oral phenylephrine. It worked _immediately_, it was like a balloon deflating. It worked so well that these headlines regarding phenylephrine's ineffectiveness still cause bemusement...
How do you know this is not true?
If your sense of obligation is seen as a value function for people, it follows that your self-worth is the value when you plug-in "self". Helping others and volunteering is indeed something that brings satisfaction and could help heal your sense of self-worth. If you value another person higher than yourself, by helping them you would establish a connection between their worth and your own. You potentially went from lacking any evidence of positive self-worth to having concrete first-hand evidence that you are worth something to someone.